To tell the truth, im always scared of being left alone, and i doesnt mean methaporically, i mean literally. I am always afraid of sleeping alone, eating alone and there are times i'm afraid going to the bathroom alone. There is always somebody that needs to be at my side. Its just before this i cant bear the feeling of loneliness and dependant. Im tired of people squawking how inmature i am, because u know what, u r not perfect yourself so stop highlighting my flaws.
When I first entered obgyn alone without my usual friends, i feel scared. I thought at that moment Im going to die but im not sure of what. Im not sure of everything. But life has to go on right. Alhamdulillah, thankful to him, i realize how strong and independant i am. I now trust my own decision, and when being strong is the only option u have, u realize how potential u are. The only person u can trust is yourself and patience is your best friends.
Its quite a journey what i finds alone, i've met so many great people which i found friendship in them. Some of them open my eyes to the reality of life. Life is just not sugar and candy anymore, its bitter and sorrow, but thats what makes life an adventure.
I met someone so nice, so patience, and really considerate. Watching her, made me want to be a good person too. I knew i made lots of mistakes in the past, and knowing that a lot is judging, and i understand. I dont blame them. All of us are humans. From this day onwards, i want to be a good person, a good islam. I finally found my peace and calm. Its true what they said, the closer u are to allah, the more happiness u felt. But what i wont change is, i'll still act like a kid, fact is i love the way i am, because that is what i am. Doesnt mean i have to grow up to be a good person. Everyone has a kid inside them, except i decide to embrace it.
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