heartbroken again and again

No matter how much I try, sometimes i think that I failed relationship really badly. Sometimes it makes me think, where have I gone wrong?

1) Am I too ugly? No I dont think so. I saw lots of common people getting married ( well as a doctor who delivered lots of babies, sometimes when I saw the mum, I was like whoaa, someone willing to sleep with this woman?) and yet it makes me think why I'm still single.

2) Am i not bright? no, I dont think so. born and breed as a good student since childhood and now a ho in Putrajaya. I have a bright future ahead. That's a bonus. well i saw it as a bonus

3) Is my family a disaster family? No, I came from a good family. A stable well financed family, and a loving one I might add.

4) Am i egoistic? dull personality? no. i have a very cheerful personality and i talk a lot. When u get to know me? I will be the nicest person u know..

But why am I getting heartbroken again and again? what did i do so wrong to deserve this?..:'(

Im afraid

Im afraid of what would happen in the coming few days. Seems everything start to fall apart. The stresses, the panic in finding patient exam, the results forensics and ikm not going out yet, its all over my head. Plus, with the acms thingy yet. Haih. Sometimes i wish i've never take medic here. But its too late. Its too late.

I just want to get out of here. To get out of these situations. Im tired of the dramas, the problems. But then again, back home i'll face the same things. Probably even worse. I'm not excited to be here right now neither to finish it and be home. Im lost. Im really lost. In the end, its always just me alone facing the world.

Dear god, im really afraid. Im really afraid that i feel so lost. I dont even know what i want in life. Im lost. Help me.:'(