As the saying goes, expect less so u'll be happier. Expect more, u'll be disappointed. That's what happened to me. Lately, I'm a bit excited that I finally found my playmates back when I was toddlers. I didn't know what triggered me, but I had the nerves to hunt down each one of them that had made a bittersweet memory to me. The more busier I get at work, the more I miss my childhood days. Moving back to my old place flashed back all the memories, it's like a movie running inside my head. I wish I had either stop or pause button, or the better delete button. Sometimes, I'm a bit irritated of myself, that I remember everything, whilst the other hardly do. I doesn't mind at all, its just....I'm just a bit disappointed. I wish I'm not that forgettable because I really do want them to remember me as well as I do. Maybe, their presence gave an effect in my life whilst the presence of mine is just a wind blowing by. Trust me, if I can easily forget, I would love to, but sadly there's no delete button in my long term external memory. At last, this memory will not be a memory at all because only me remember it. People will say its just your delusion. In many many people god, why did u choose me to remember every little detail things back in my days. To this day, I can still recall the words my mother have said to me back when I was little ( mind you, she doesn't even remember saying it or spank me). I can still recall the name of my cats I had when I was 3 years old. I still remember my first friend ever back when I was 2 years old, and I can still describe her precisely. If u put her in front of me, even after many years I never met her, I would still be able to recognize it's her. That's creepy and now I feel all weird out. Some memories are meant to be forgotten, but mine was all bottled up. The boy that I feel I'm closest with back when I'm little had a hard time placing me, and to tell the truth, I'm quite bummed out. Supposedly I have to be like that. It is rare for people to recall everything during their childhood unless they have a very traumatic experience. But I don't! My childhood was perfect, as it should be. At the age of 4, I could still remember peeping my nanny kissing her boyfriend (my parents are busy all the time). I still remember all the fights between my siblings (I don't get it, get this...they don't even remember it). How did all my family forget that my dad had run down my teeny weeny bike, back when I was 3 years old? My parents forget the first word that I ever spelled, but I do and I could still remember the way I spelled it!and I dunno why????
When I start the word, Hey guys, I miss those times.. Did u remember...bla..bla...bla...? They was like,.. reallY?no?Maybe?.....then I was like Yeah..u're with me, that's how things bla..bla..bla....and they was like, noo..I can't remember it that well...
Is it just weird or that I am weird???Brain, please stop synaptic and stop communicating it all the things to long term memory. U know, there's still lots of space in the short term memory. Brain, please, I am begging you to follow this advice. If you don't, ur best friend heart will bear the disappointment. And she is fragile at this point. She would really like you to be her protector now.
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